A Date? And a Place? Possibly!

Yes, I think we might have actually decided on a date and a place. The place would be the funky little island getaway in the Carribean. The date would be the weekend of January 19th-21st! That's the weekend after MLK Jr. Day, so hopefully a little less booked (?!?) and just a little more distance from the Christmas festivities. Oh, and it'd be the anniversary of Kosh's proposal. Awwwww.

Opinions

are like... Ok, I won't complete that crass phrase. But seriously! I like the way one friend said it- 'wedding planning is fun when it's SomeoneElse'sWedding.'

Kosh and I are making headway on What We Want (this, I am told, is the most important part.) I don't want to reveal anything until it's settled. But it would avoid a lot of venue issues, and we can just have fun with it. So that'd be a YAY!

Here's hoping. I'm actually in a good enough mood that I can consider dress shopping! Woo!

Ok, Kosh I are trying to decide between LA (where we live), Chicago (where all of my family lives), or somewhere else...

It's seeming like LA might be sensible from the perspective of being able to handle things in-person. I have very limited vacation time from work, not to mention wanting to do this on a reasonable budget, so it's not like I could take multiple trips back for tastings and fittings!

Speaking of reasonable budget... I'm starting to go into shock over venue fees. I understand that you're essentially paying for the power to be kept on, and for all of the staff to work during that time (with all of the associated costs). But $5,000 for a portion of a corner of a section of a garden (Descanso)?! Thank you, but no.

I can really see how people end up spending a literal fortune on a wedding. But I just can't stomach doing that.

The story

Everyone keeps asking for "the story" -how we met, dated, how he proposed. This is the all audiences version, so I'll try to get to specifics for my various markets as I go to press. ;-)

For purposes of our tale he is Kosh and I am Nutella. (Yes, my name is inspired by the hazelnut spread, while his was already part of an online handle he used.)

Halloween 2004.

I was a week shy of my 26th birthday, which was scheduled to be spent in Haiti with my mother, at a mission where she (usually remotely, from Chicago) works.

I had just returned from an overcrowded party where my friends and I knew only the host, and was ready to go to sleep. One last check of my email before bed, though. I'd been using various online dating sites for a couple years, off and on. (In case it isn't obvious, 'off' when I was seeing someone...) I had an ad on The Onion and an ad on OkCupid.

I truly don't remember if anyone else emailed me that day. I suppose I could check. I just know that Kosh sent me one unassuming message, through OkCupid, asking which marathon I was training for.

I replied, and within a few days we were chatting on the phone. Next up: discovering that we knew people in common! I kid you not. They would never have introduced us, though!

I had to head off to Haiti. Kosh was the first, and most consistent writer of those that I hadn't even met! I very much appreciated hearing from him. He even asked me out for when I returned. :-)

Our first date was November 20, 2004. We had dinner at Marmalade Cafe in Sherman Oaks. I had the brisket, he had the ahi. Kosh still has the receipt somewhere! After our first date, I knew that I wanted to see Kosh again, and he told me that he definitely wanted to see me again. I believe the exact words were "If you don't hear from me, call the hospitals, because the only reason I'm not calling is because I've been in an accident." (awww.)

I agreed to stop going out on all those other dates December 8th, and by New Year's Kosh was talking sweet sweet things about future things. Tipsy men!

Fast forward a bit, we flew home to my parents in June to be with my family for my grandparent's 50th' wedding anniversary. Forward a bit more, many of us were together again this Thanksgiving in Phoenix.

Through all of this, we've adopted two cats (Gus and Miette), flown to Ireland for me to run the marathon, and such an assortment of fun trips, days, and time together that it'd be too numerous and nauseatingly sweet to detail here. There's lots of eskimo kisses and "you're the schmoopie."

We had a wonderful, quiet Christmas here in LA. New Year's was equally low key. We've been enjoying baking cookies, making crafty things, all that sort of good stuff.

Then, MLKJr weekend, we were in the car. Phone rings. The exact transcript I believe goes something like this:

Kosh: Hello? Oh, hello.
Phone: murmurmurmurmurmur.
Kosh: Yes. Ok. Uh huh. Great. Yeees.
Phone: MURmurmurmurMURmur!
Kosh: Yes Monday would be better.
Phone: MURMURmurmurmurmur.
Kosh: Ok, bye.

silence.

Eventually me: I suppose I'm not allowed to ask who that was or what's going on?
Kosh: No.

Monday. Wonderful day. Ballroom dancing lesson! Fabu day! Dinner at a gorgeous restaurant. Oh, so romantic! But, sadly, the day ends without ring or asking. (I later find out that there has been a tragic delay! Yes! It WAS supposed to be Monday!)

Tuesday. Unbeknownst to me, Kosh has the ring. However, I have a fever. So there's a no go! I'm finally well enough on Thursday that Kosh and I plan to see the gorgeous Hammer museum exhibition of cartoon art. Work is stressful, though, and I am wiped out. I call Kosh and ask if it's ok if I just meet him later. He is surprisingly relaxed and ok with this in retrospect.

Kosh calls and asks if I want to go out to dinner. I am ready to put on pj's and go to sleep, but my spidey sense says "say ok!" so I do. He arrives shortly thereafter, and seems... really energetic. He's standing in the middle of the living room, and I get up and he starts telling me how much he loves me, I say that I love him too. This goes back in forth a couple times. I'm about to comment that the cat is being really cute, but again, my spidey sense say "be quiet!" so I am. Which is when Kosh pulled out the box from the jeweler's, asked, I said "oh my god" (or something similar, I'll have to ask him!) I know for sure that I said "yes!"

Oooooh

It would be morally wrong to get the not-for-profit discount at a venue using mom's charity Tax ID.

Besides, they'd notice a wedding reception going on...

Venues

People are already asking us for a date and location. We don't even know what contient we want this on!

Kosh figures the season/date will be dicated by the locale. Which works for me. But I still can't even begin to decide. My mother is doing a soft-sell campaign for a particular spot, which would be a destination event.

Frustratingly, I found out my very favorite venue- the place I'd pictured since childhood -isn't holding wedding ceremonies any longer! Bah!

Couple that with looking at hotel wedding stuff this morning, and realizing that I was actively making faces and sticking my tongue out at the computer screen? Chicago is a less attractive option.

Engaged!

Kosh and I got engaged on Thursday night, January 19th.

Instantly people wanted the prettified story. You know, the one that everyone's constructed over months or years. The version that's movie ready. Not the version that I currently have, which involves clever phrases like "he asked" and "well, I was sick all week, with this really gross phlegm." The one funny/clever line I have so far involves me asking "is this real?" because it was all so wonderful, and Kosh thinking I meant the ring.

Which brings me to The Ring. ohmigod. I'd always heard "let the man choose the ring without you- he'll choose something bigger! Well, thank goodness I had zero input on THIS. Wowza. I think it's rude to brag. But really, it's so stunningly gorgeous, it would be a disservice to Kosh NOT to brag!